22 weeks, 4 Days

It's been a while since I've blogged and this one will be short and sweet. Kamiryn Lee, baby girl, you are so loved already. And as you grow up I am going to assure you that I am your number one fan and biggest supporter and I will love you through all your trials and triumphs. And as I sit here typing and talking this out, you're giving me kicks of approval and it makes me smile. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life creating memories with you.

Love,

Mommy

June 11 - 17 weeks, 6 days

Hey baby Kam,

I'm blogging from my car now, just wanted to do a quick one since I'm kind of bored.

Well, I started my new job as a Salvage Total Loss Specialist and so far I love it! The benefits are amazing and I'm just so excited to have a full time job again. I plan to take this opportunity and run with it and make sure you have everything you could possibly want/need.

We've started getting some baby stuff and it's so exciting to see things start to pile up in our bedroom. Plus its giving Rascal a chance to get used to the new stuff and smell it and look at it and understand that its not his. People are just so generous and thoughtful, I am very thankful that they even thought about us to gift us these things. So far we've gotten a bassinet, a bathtub, a gym, a couple books, sheets and mattress pad, and a carseat. Everything is so cute, the carseat even has little monkeys on it :) that one will definitely go in the Alpha mobile (your daddy's car). We decided yesterday that whether you're a boy or a girl I'm going to decorate your nursery in a bumblebee theme, I found the cutest set on amazon yesterday. Trying to make sure we have different colors going on, not just traditional pink or blue. I've been doing a lot of research and online shopping lately searching for deals. I'm not an extreme couponer but I tend not to buy anything unless I have a coupon or it's a really good sale. Except for technology though, I splurge on those items (Apple Products of course!)

We got to hear your heartbeat again last week and it was 154. According to the old wives tales, a rate that fast indicates you're a girl. But everyone swears you're a boy. We are happy either way but it's fun to guess whole we wait. The Chinese gender chart says you're going to be a boy. We'll find out on June 28 what you are though, as long as you're positioned properly. Everyone is really excited so they can start spoiling you!

Well Kam, it's time for me to head back into work. It's a REALLY rainy day here, so gloomy but a good day nonetheless.

Love you,

Mommy

**here are some pics from the last week, your Grandma Donna had me cracking up yesterday at her text messages (pic of text has been removed)**

May 29, 2012 - 16 weeks, 3 days

Hey Baby Kam,

I talk to you everyday and rub my belly, but I’m finally getting a chance to just sit down and be after a whirlwind three weeks to blog everything. Television seems to motivate me and today’s show of choice is TLC’s “A Baby Story”.  I figured I’d take a break from the drama of teenage pregnancies on MTV and watch some happy married couples deliver their little blessing. Oh and I watched Sesame Street today.  I’m getting myself back into the swing of watching little kid shows so my nerves are prepared by the time you want to watch the same episode of Elmo’s world 10 times in a row.  It’s been awhile since my days of watching Barney, Blues Clues and Rollie Pollie Ollie with Kori and Kevyn.

So let’s see, what’s happened since our last blog session.  Well, I left my job for a much better one.  I’m going back to a place where I never thought I’d be able to work again because of my health, but I’m confident I’ll be able to succeed because I have more resources to manage my fibro.  I won’t go into too much detail about how my time at my previous job ended, just know that mommy was classy when someone tried to pull the ugliness out of her.  People may poke fun at how many jobs I’ve held over the years, but I’ve never been without one – that is a lesson my mom and dad taught me that I will teach you in about 17 years.  I start the new job next Monday, and I’m a bit nervous like always, but ready...and I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because I went ahead and called my new boss and told her I was pregnant.  I didn't want to start off a new job, lying and trying to hide something and it went surprisingly well and my job is secure :)  

Now, onto the great news…me and daddy are married!! Yay!! Finally right!? J 

The day was magical, all the drama and tears and stress were definitely worth it in the end.  Your west coast family made the journey out here, and so did your great-grandma from Chicago and I was so glad that they did.  It was great to experience that once in a lifetime moment with them.  Of course your Georgia family was there too.  I was only a bridezilla once in this whole wedding process and that was on Friday night before the wedding, I was snapping every five minutes – but in the end everything came out perfect.  Your auntie Kayla even spent the night before the wedding with the rest of the girls which meant the world to me.  Saturday morning I only got sick once and then you and I were on the same page I guess because the rest of the day we were fine.  I put on my wedding dress and I felt like a princess and couldn’t keep the smile off of my face.  I laughed and joked until it was time to walk down the aisle, and then I got serious.  I was so happy to see everyone there that came to support.  Then I get to the end of the aisle and I saw TJ and just smiled, then your Grandpa Quyntyn kept saying “look at your girls, look at them” and I said, “why I’ve seen them all day” then finally I looked and Kandis was there! That was the most emotional part of the day and the pictures captured everything and I’m sure the video did too.  Your dad gave me the best wedding gift ever by suprising me with my best friend being there.  I had been texting her all morning long with details and pictures, I had talked to her up until the point it was time for me to walk out and there she was…it was great.  I’m still getting made fun of for my reaction, but your dad cried too when he saw me so his make-fun-of-krishelle pass has been revoked.  The weather that day was beautiful, the temperature was just right, everyone looked beautiful – it was just great.  The reception was a blast, I couldn’t stop dancing and moving around, I truly enjoyed myself and was thankful for everyone that helped us during this process.  We have a wedding memory box that we’ve been placing stuff in, and one day when you’re old enough we’ll pull everything out and share everything with you.

The honeymoon was also very nice and relaxing.  We went to Savannah for two days and the trip started out rocky because of the hotel management but it turned out nice in the end.  Then we went over to Hilton Head to sit on the beach and people watch for a day. It was a very well-deserved trip.  Weird being pregnant on your honeymoon and not being able to drink or eat what you want (everything I really wanted to eat I ended up throwing up hours later or it gave me heartburn).  I was very happy that TJ and I had a whole week to just be newlyweds and not focus on work, the house, bills, etc.  We’re going to try to take one more trip before you get here, I guess they call that a baby-moon.  I think I want to go to North Georgia so I can see the mountains, but we’ll see. 

Our next top priority is moving so we can get a space ready for you.  It is way too cramped in this apartment with two adults and a small dog, definitely time for a house. I’ve gotten addicted to HGTV and looking for houses online.  The new job starting late pushed the plan back a month, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed that by September we’re able to find something and we’ll be able to move in the first week in October.  We are definitely in super budget and bill paying mode right now.

The only bit of sad news that has had me down the last couple of days is that I’m not able to go back to school in the Fall.  I’m four classes away from my associates degree, and I was really trying to be done in Spring 2013.  But all the classes I need aren’t being offered at a time that works around my new job.  I even tried to retake two classes that I didn’t get an A or B in, but that didn’t work either.  Your dad said he supports me not taking the new job if I really want to go to school in the fall and just finish up, but that just doesn’t make any sense.  You’ll be here in about 5 months, and we need as much stability – financial and emotional – as possible.  And me, I’m not emotionally stable if my finances aren’t stable, and that’s not good for you.  So even though TJ says no one thinks this of me, I just want you to know Kam that you do not have a dumb mom just because college wasn’t finished before you got here.  I’ve pushed through a lot to finish what I have and eventually I will get to the finish line, but right now you have to be my top priority.  Maybe next Summer I’ll try to hop on the college bandwagon again when I feel more comfortable at work and I’ve adjusted to motherhood.  But this is obviously God’s way of not letting me take on more than I can handle.  The last couple days have been rough because the excitement of the wedding has died down and real life has sunk back in – fibromyalgia pain has been very unbearable this week which doesn’t help either.  I am ready for Monday, for a new beginning and a chance to learn something new and prove I can be great at something. 

I hope you’re in there growing big and strong Kam, I can see you’ve got my belly poking out.  We have our next appointment next Thursday and I can’t wait to hear your heartbeat again.  I cant remember whether or not we find out if you’re a boy or a girl at this appointment, but either way we’re always excited for these appointments.

I love you and until next time…

Love,

Mommy

May 4, 2012 - 12 weeks, 3 days

Hey Little Baby Kam (i'll reveal the actual rest of your name when we find out if you're a girl or a boy),

This week has been a whirlwind and I'm so glad it's Friday.  I've been up and down emotionally but I'm stable and smiling today.  The high point of my week was yesterday because your dad and I had our 12 week appointment and got to hear your little heartbeat! Honestly, one of thee coolest things ever that I'll ever hear.  Hearing the heartbeat made everything so official for me, not that I didn't believe I was pregnant from the ultrasound but it was still a surreal thought that I was actually pregnant.  But hearing that strong 154 heartbeat coming out of that little speaker put me in super mommy mode already.  And your dad, was very emotional at hearing the heartbeat, he is just too cute and supportive.  We can't wait to hear it again in June :)

On another note, the wedding is officially 14 days away....praise the Lord! We are so ready to join our little family together, in our eyes you were our blessing from God that let us know we were making the right decision to get married.  We've been engaged since August 2010 and wedding plans went up and down and back and forth, kind of like the movie "Five-year Engagement".  We were going to put off getting married until 2013, then we pushed it forward, then moved it back again then we (well it was me actually) called off the wedding because it was just too much for me to handle.  Then one day in January we said, you know what, there's no point in waiting anymore because we're practically married, we know we want to be with each other so let's do this thing in May.  We got on the ball with planning our DIY small wedding asap and got a lot of details taken care of, then in March we got the good news that you were on the way.  So a lot of stuff has been going on, but I know that everything will be totally worth it.  Can't wait to see your family from Vegas and Chicago in two weeks, I miss them so much! And I'm sure they'll be rubbing my belly a lot.  Kori is determined to turn you into a mini-version of herself and Kayla is praying that you're a boy, your grandparents are super excited and your great-grandparents are already buying stuff...you are going to be way too spoiled.

This week was also finals for me...didn't do too well on Business Communication and I blame myself for not being able to block out what was bothering me and focusing more, but I should be able to pull off a good grade though.  Now, my managerial accounting final....85% whoohoo!  Maybe your little brain is in there learning all of this business stuff and you'll be a CEO of a great company one day or at least a good number cruncher :)

Well little baby K...until next time :)

Love,

Mommy

Oh and can you kick me or something already so people can stop asking me if i've felt a "flutter" yet ;) thanks!

April 19, 2012 - 10 weeks, 2 days

Dear Little Baby K,

I’m addicted to reality tv.  I know I know, it’s not really reality, it’s scripted right? Well, it’s my escape from my reality so I’ll stick with the non-reality tv binging sessions.  My favorite show is a controversial one, MTV’s 16 and pregnant.  I’ve been hooked on the show since it debuted and now that I’m 23 and pregnant, it grasps my attention even more.  Some argue that the show encourages young girls to get pregnant, while others support the show by stating it shows the real side of teen pregnancy.  Personally, at 23 years old, this show scares me enough to fear motherhood, which is why I decided to start a blog – to release the thoughts instead of keeping them bottled inside.  Sure, I have my stuff together a little more than the young girls on this show but I have my share of issues as well.  I never thought I’d be here at the age I am without a degree and without at least a full-time job.  I’ve always been one of those people that plans everything…and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.  But I also learned the hard way that life does not go according to what you thought was the master plan.  And right now, honestly little baby, I’m scared.  I know me and your dad have a few months to get things finalized before you get arrive, but every day I worry.  You are honestly a blessing and we couldn’t be happier – the doctors have told me for years now how difficult it would be for me to have children because of my many health problems.  But creating you was anything but difficult, it was actually rather easy I suppose considering you were a complete surprise.  I found out I was expecting on March 15, we were currently in the middle of planning our wedding and I was searching for another job to supplement the income or a full-time job if possible.  Everything has currently had to be placed on hold, except for the wedding of course. That is still on track for May 19, and I can’t wait.  30 days away and then I’ll never have to deal with the wedding nonsense ever again.  Little Baby K, when you get married many many years from now, just do what makes you happy – I won’t be mad if you elope, I won’t cry if you don’t ask me to help you plan, I swear I’ll be fine.  This wedding has been what I call a very trying process on my patience, but I’ll get through it thanks to your Great-Grandma Happy and my fairy god-auntie Ariel.  So on top of wedding planning I’m also at the end of another semester of school and I can’t wait for it to be over.  I’m four classes away from my associates finally! But it looks like I’ll have to wait another semester to get it because you’re expected to arrive November 14, meaning that I’ll probably miss the end of the semester and not pass the classes I plan to take with flying colors.  That is one thing I’m very stressed about – school.  I don’t want to have to take another break, but it’s looking like I’ll have to.  Things are just so all over the place right now and it’s hard to picture the bright sunny sky when things look gloomy to me.  I always thought I’d have my ducks in a row when I had a child, but the only duck I seem to have lined up is the good father one.  Your dad, TJ, is going to be amazing.  He’s probably more excited than I am at this point, but I think that’s because you’re not causing him to throw up every night and turn his nose up at his favorite foods.  Nonetheless, I’m working on me to be better for you.  I’ll use this as an outlet to let out all my thoughts during pregnancy; some will be sad, some will be happy, some may be frustrated, but all will be real.  No matter what’s going on and how my crazy emotions make me appear, I already love you dear little baby K.  

Love,

Mommy

P.S. By the way, your name will start with a K, hence the baby K.  :)